“You look like someone who has their shit together.”
At some point during the intro call with a potential new client I always ask, out of curiosity, why they got in touch (when there are so many Coaches out there) and this time, they were candid with their response of, “You look like someone who has their shit together.”
I had two immediate responses.
One was to laugh out loud and then say “what! really!” and the other was ‘thanks, I do have my shit together …. most of the time”.
We then had a great conversation about success, expectations, perceptions and so on. After the call ended I reflected on what this all really means.
So, my considered answer is yes, I do have my shit together across work life, home life, social life, health & fitness but not all at the same time. Each of these areas ebb & flow, sometimes things work well, go as planned, the effort put in directly influences the results and other times things can feel thankless and tiring.
In essence this is how life is for everyone right? It is a series of milestones, a lot of work and a constant juggle of time and priorities.
So, what makes the difference between it feeling like it’s all coming together or that we’re simply hoping for the best?
It is the approach we choose. One that comes from making choices that we take responsibility for and switch off auto-pilot mode. Yes, it is true that many things are out of our control, but many are not.
For example;
how we show up
what we believe to be true about our own worth
whether we live under other people’s expectations, how we spend our time
the care we take over our wellbeing
the people we spend our time with
the boundaries we adhere to
the willingness to speak up for ourself and so on.
Taking a more considered and intentional approach means taking a holistic view of life as it stands currently. Then reflecting on what we have, what we’d like to be different and what we really don’t like any longer…
and next, what we are going to do about it.
Making change brings challenge & risks, it takes time but it also brings opportunities, possibilities and the sense that we are creating a ‘life by design’ and not one that is overly influenced by societal pressures, expectations, procrastination and comparison.
As a starting point consider ….
What are my core values and how much of life is aligned to these?
Who am I spending my time with and do these people positively enhance my wellbeing? Am I also positively contributing to the friendship/ relationship etc?
When I think about the things that are important me, do I invest in these regardless of what other people think?
This time next year, when I look back at the decisions I have made, am I confident that I have been true to what’s most important to me and those I love and whom I am building a future with?
Hopefully these few questions offer a chance to reflect and check if things are aligned, and if not, then you’ve found yourself a great starting point to make some changes!
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